


love me in ways i couldn't

by youngjaemins



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Nahyuck, appreciate donghyuck, hyuckmin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-02
Updated: 2019-03-02
Packaged: 2019-11-07 23:26:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17970068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/youngjaemins/pseuds/youngjaemins
Summary: Donghyuck's tired of the members dodging all of his affection, so Jaemin does something very impulsive.





	love me in ways i couldn't

**Author's Note:**

> this is very self-indulgent and i love jaemin and hyuck with my phat heart.

It came off as a joke, something Donghyuck was used to but it still hurts. A lot more than he intended to. Although, he’s getting quite the hang of it, learning how to pretend that it’s fine, that it doesn’t affect him in any way.

He doesn’t recall how it started or why it happened, all he can remember was that he felt ashamed of himself. He felt lonely despite having the members with him, laughing and talking nonsensical things. He felt like there was something wrong, and he has no idea whether it was him or the people around him.

The first time he noticed it was when he decided to squish himself in between Chenle and Jisung who were busy playing games on their phone. He pressed two soft kisses both on their cheeks, but the two boys shrieked as they wipe off the nonexistent saliva on their cheeks. The two boy whine when they leave Donghyuck alone in the couch, mumbling out incoherent words.

 _Ignore it_ , he said to himself. _You’ve probably disturbed them, that’s why._

The second time it happened was when they were inside the van, coming from a late night event that got them all dead tired. His neck pillow wasn’t really that comfortable and leaning his head on the car’s window was only giving him a headache, so he opted to place his head on Mark’s shoulder. However, the older guy groaned and shoved Donghyuck away.

 _Ignore it_ , he once again said to himself. _He’s just tired._

And as if the universe was playing some sick prank on him, well technically he doesn’t really want to overthink these incidents but it keeps on happening and Donghyuck isn’t dumb not to notice. The members just avoid him or push him away whenever he gets way too affectionate.

He keeps on brushing it off, he keeps saying that maybe it’s not their cup of tea or they aren’t like him who loves getting hugs and kisses, but it became more like he’s lying to himself or forcing himself to believe that. When in the back of his mind, there’s an inkling feeling that they don’t really like him. And that what’s keeping him up all night.

“Donghyuck, have you been sleeping? I might use a whole tube of concealer just to cover up these dark circles under your eyes.” The stylist doesn’t sound mad, but she sounds worried while dabbing too much cream particularly under his eyes.

Donghyuck just nods in response because he can’t just tell her all of the things that’s been bothering him. With his eyes still closed, he listens to the other Dream members goofing at the back and he can feel a pang of jealousy when he hears Jaemin laughing while hearing smooching sounds. He wonders how can Jaemin still be all smiles, be happy and continue being the sweet and loving person that he is when people push him away too? Donghyuck wishes to be just like Jaemin. Donghyuck wishes he could also receive the love he has been giving to all of them.

Since they’re currently having a Dream comeback, it’s easier to stay in their dorms just to make it more convenient for all of them. So when the night comes, lulling them all to sleep, Donghyuck stays awake because that’s when he can freely cry out all of the feelings he’s been trying to hold without anyone judging him.

But to his surprise, the side of his bed dips and an arm slides on his waist, engulfing him in a tight embrace. He can feign like he’s been fast asleep just so he can’t explain himself, yet this person who’s hugging him has other plans.

“Are you okay?”

_Jaemin._

Donghyuck’s eyes are wide and he feels his body stiffen. Donghyuck isn’t fully affectionate when it comes to Jaemin because he thinks their attitude would clash or they would be sickeningly sweet with each other. And, he doesn’t know what to do if that happens.

"I know you’re awake, Hyuckie.” Jaemin whispers, his voice deep and groggy.

“What are you doing here?”

“You’ve been very distant lately. And I’m worried about you.” Jaemin is running his fingers through Donghyuck’s hair, sending a chill up and down the latter’s spine.

“I’m fine, Nana.” Donghyuck insists, hoping that Jaemin would leave after that, but he was wrong. Really wrong because he was suddenly pinned down on his own mattress while Jaemin is hovering over him with a troubled look on his face. “What the fuck are you doing?”

“Why do you keep on lying, Hyuck?” Jaemin asks, his brows furrowed together and there are wrinkles on his forehead to show his frustrations. “Just tell me what’s wrong, please.”

Donghyuck doesn’t know why. Maybe it’s the way Jaemin stares at him, doe-eyed and full of concern. Maybe he’s just tired of bottling his feelings. Maybe he’s already fed up of crying and only his pillows are the ones who can hear his thoughts. Or, maybe, just maybe it’s just Jaemin. Na Jaemin who is Lee Donghyuck’s _tiny_ just _a little bit_ of a crush.

So, he lets go. He poured out all of the things that's been drowning him, laying it all out in front Jaemin. He tells him in between sobs, even if they are all jumbled, gibberish, and even if it doesn’t make sense, Jaemin is still staring at him intently. Still listening.

“Just,” Donghyuck breathes, a pleading look on his face. “Don’t tell anyone about it. I’m going to be okay, I promise.”

Jaemin is silent, and Donghyuck thought their talk is over now and he can finally go back to sleep because their position isn’t quite comfortable as it seems. And he’s worried Jaemin would get too tired if he continues to stay on top of him for a long time. Except, Jaemin decides to prolong both of their agonies when he decided to lean in and place a soft kiss on Donghyuck’s forehead.

“What the fuck.”

“I always wonder what’s going on inside your head, but I love how you’re so smart and full of wit, Hyuck.” Jaemin says, giving him a small smile. Then he leans once again to place a gentle kiss on each of Donghyuck’s cheeks. “And I love your cheeks, and you have no idea how badly I want to squeeze it every time because they’re adorable. You’re adorable.”

“What are you trying to do, Jaemin?” Donghyuck asks, completely dumbfounded that this is actually happening.

“Showing you that I love you just the way you are, and that I’m sorry if you ever felt like you’re not enough because that’s not true. You’re enough. You will always be enough.” Donghyuck whimpers, feeling hot tears flowing out of his eyes. “I’m here, okay? I’m here.”

“Thank you, Nana.”

Jaemin just smiles and he’s leaning in again, aiming for Donghyuck’s throat. “I love your voice. I really do, Hyuck. Your voice is so beautiful I won’t get tired of listening to you when you speak or sing.”

Donghyuck is not moving at this point. He doesn’t know where this shit is going, and as much as he loves getting all these kisses from Jaemin, he wants to make sure that it’s not platonic because hell, he’s going to be more heartbroken than he already is.

Jaemin pulls back up, his face only centimeters away from Donghyuck. His face morphed into a gentle and loving expression before he places a quick peck on his lips that he barely feels it. “Thank you for always giving us the love we don’t deserve.”

Donghyuck snaps from his sheer confusion, “Do it again.”

“Huh? Do what again?”

Donghyuck’s arms slide against Jaemin’s neck as he pulls him down. “Kiss me again, idiot.”

This kiss is slow and soft – and Donghyuck could feel all of the words Jaemin still haven’t said. After a while, Jaemin starts to leave featherlight kisses to Donghyuck’s moles as the older boy sighs in contentment, eyes getting heavier every second.

“Goodnight, Hyuckie.” Jaemin whispers, placing one last kiss on his forehead before he went back to his side and tugging Donghyuck closer to his space. “I love you. More than friends should.”

A genuine smile appears on Donghyuck’s face before shutting his eyes close and whispering, “I love you too.”

**Author's Note:**

> my twt: [ @actornjm ](https://www.twitter.com/actornjm)  
> pls be my friend and send me prompts to write hehe! <3


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